Women who lead with levity, lead well and lead long. Women who attempt to lead without levity eventually fail measurably -- and miserably! I have worked with many powerful women. To put it simply: I've enjoyed, valued, and respected the ones who have an attitude of good cheer about themselves and about life. For those without this positive attitude, I can honestly say that they aren't much fun to be around. (By the way, I feel the same way about men.) Often I respect their competence but that is not enough to succeed in a competitive work environment where you (and I) could be replaced tomorrow.

I have worked with many powerful men too. To put it simply: they enjoy, value, and respect a woman who is good at her work but also displays an attitude of good cheer about herself and life. They do not enjoy, value, or like a woman who carries some form of a "chip on her shoulder". (If you happen to be really attractive they might give you some "grace period" in working with them just so they can look, and sometimes just leer at you longer, but they will not consider you a serious player much less a leader.)

To lead, you must have and display a sense of humor. Let me correct myself: at least you have to display it. I don't care if you really have it. Although it's pretty tough to fake, I've known both women and men who have succeeded in doing it. (It's not too dissimilar from faking self-confidence or competence - something we all have done at one time or another in our life.) What's important for our discussion right now is that you grasp the incredible significance of displaying fun in your serious work.

When Pepsi-Cola executives are hoarded up in a boardroom strategizing an inroad into the multi-billion dollar China market to counteract the Coca-Cola invasion, eventually one person will ease the tension in the room by joking, "Let's not go overboard here, we're just talking about bottled sugar water." Although it's not necessarily a line Jay Leno would use, in that situation that one line adds enough levity to reduce the stress, put things in perspective, and allow for clearer thinking.

Mindy Credi, a people development expert there says, "Growing up around my grandmother and mother I learned to use humor in dealing with family issues. I remember one of my Italian grandmothers favorite saying, 'Melinda, don't-ah spit-ah into the wind-ah'. But I never thought women could use humor in business. It wasn't until many years into my career when I got to work with the first female president of Pepsi-Cola and I saw her: a company president, a leader, a woman who had accomplished a lot, and she had a great use of humor. She was always kidding people about things, even with her boss, in important meetings."

To display humor:

• Have an attitude of good cheer and keep it despite what happens.

• Put yourself around good-natured people who are also productive and hard-working (you know, like yourself.)

• Don't engage in the negative: people or situations.

• Look like a winner in your comportment/posture. i.e. like you have the "world by the tail" rather than "the weight of the world on your shoulders."

• Be consistent in using humor with everyone you meet and work with.

• Don't fret if you don't get roars of laughter (they are probably holding it inside.)

• When you laugh, always laugh, don't giggle. Girls giggle. Female leaders laugh.

If you are a woman who injects appropriate humor into important business situations you will be praised, honored, respected, and hoisted onto pedestals. Well, okay, maybe I went a little overboard on the last one, but at the very least you will be allowed to stay and play in the game. And if you want to lead, you have to be in the game. As you will learn, people will only allow you to lead them if you make it enjoyable to follow.