Wish you had more of what it takes to win the support and respect of others? Want to advance your career by building better relationships with co-workers and customers?

Then it may be time for you to start kidding around a little.

According to local bestselling writer Debra Benton, author of "Executive Charisma," using humor allows you to connect with others in a sincere way.

"We kid, zing, and ding people we like. If you start consistently using respectful humor, you'll gain more support all the way around."

Why? Because humor puts everyone on the same level, in an "I'm human, you're human" sort of way, resulting in stronger relationships.

For instance, in situations where one person is perceived to be in a superior position, such as the boss or a very important customer, the use of humor can effectively erase tension making things more comfortable for everybody.

So should you run out to the joke shop for a squirting lapel flower or a fart pillow? Benton advises against rubber nose, joke-telling humor. Instead, she encourages looking for ways to inject a little levity into the existing situation, without putting down yourself or others.

When I asked Benton for an example, she thought for a few moments and said, "I'll let you know when I say something funny," perfectly demonstrating the technique.

I then pointed out that the use of humor requires confidence, and most of us struggle with that, worrying that we'll look like an idiot. "No one has confidence all the time," Benton explained. "When it's not there, you'll need to fake the confidence until it arrives." It's important to project an, "I accept myself, and I accept you," attitude, especially when you feel nervous, because communicating with someone who is insecure is difficult and uncomfortable.

Benton also suggests using humor with everyone, from the co-worker in the cubicle next to you to the CEO you see at the monthly company meetings. "Be consistent, and don't single certain people out. Effective leaders show respect, affinity, and acceptance to everyone."

So now it's time for me to start using humor more often. Any of you friends with the Funny Fairy? I think I need some help!